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DAS JUDE
Das Jude, or Jews or Hebrews to lesser races, have a long history. From slavery, freedom, slavery again, multiple genocides, then ruling American banks, and then bombing arabs. Rightfully feared by many, the Shapeshifters have encountered many who have taken up arms against them. But the Hebrews stand today, a tribute to their racial ability of Resilience. Many people, like I, admire the toughness of the Jude. THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO IN THE FUTURE There were Jews and Egyptains, the first natural predator of the Jews. The Egyptains enslaved the Hebrews and forced them to make pyramids (big triangles) for that the Egyptains love shapes. The one day a couple of jews up to no good, started making trouble in the empire. Led by Overlord Moses, Destroyer of Worlds. Moses controlled the forces of 'motherfucking miracles.' Mo ses used his demon powers to lead his people out of Egypt, to the safety of some mountain. Or something. Lol MountainJew. Like MountainDew, but jew. This is how Jew started. THEN THIS HAPPENED Boring history stuff. Pogons and holocausts, blahblah. Enemies of the Jews The Jews have met signifigant resistance over the years. But there still here today. Gratz, Jews. Egyptains Already noted Pigs No bacon 4 u. Jesus Not sure, they just didn't like our savior. Lack of money A Jew's worst nightmare Russians and Khazikstanians Committed genocides on the Jewish population. Lol Muslims Muslims hate Jews, just like they hate everything else. Except, the Israelites have the upperhand because they are supported by AMERICA. But the Palestinians dont seem to understand this. Romans They had enough of their shenanigans one day. Nazis Probably the most notable. The Third Reich didnt really like Jews at all. Especially by Master Nazi A. Hitler. Nope, no one like the poor Jews. But everybody thinks it was Hitler who was the mastermind behind all the Jew-hate. But no. It was actually a secret underground race of OVENS OVENS The greatest threat known to Hebrews. They waited thousands of years for their time to strike. They slumbered in the homes of ordinary people, waiting. Waiting. And when Hitler rose to power in lolGermany, they saw their chance. Chancellor Maytag and his advisors General Electric, Kenmore, and Kelvinator used their wicked trays to move Adolf to their cause. The ovens succeeded. Hitler devoted himself completely to their cause. Secretly, the Ovens partied hard at how they tricked the Australian. The Ovens were rallied and put into camps in Poland, to feed off the lifeforce of the poor, defensless jews. Then AMERICA intervened and saved the day once again. Yay, America. With no help from no one else. The Mastermind Ovens flew off into space to plot again their next move. And America will be ready. THE JEW SOCIETY Todays Shapeshifters are led by Master Jew John Stewart. The talkshow host for The Daily Show, he quietly leads his people in his free time. Being the most important jew, he is naturally a high value target. Secret bodyguards, or Bear Jews, protect him 24/7. Armed with baseball bats, stars of david, and the ancient fighting style of Jew Jitsu, they are trained to deal with a wide range of threats. Especially ovens, should one day they return. JEWURSALEM AND ISRAEL The Promised Land of the Jude. I think. In any means though, the Hebrews control it. With an Iron Jew Claw. A military basically sent by the Gods themself (America), the Isrealites fight constantly in the Holy Land. And they fight good. They make sure to make quick work of the Sand People everything should they become aggressive. Yay Israel :D Normal People "Normal People" to the Jews is atleast upper middle class. The Shapeshifters sho do love money. CONSULT THIS CHART Famous Jews There are many notable Jews. Jesus Dead, lol Einstein aka NUKE DUKEM FOREVER Dead, lol. Gave us nukes also. Moses Member of Super Best Friends Quentin Tarantino Director and filmguy. Makes some cool movies. He does not look look like a bitch. J. J. Abrams Director and filmguy also. Sometimes just make confusing stuff, like LOST. Katey Sagal Lady from Married With Children. I love that show. Also on Futurama. Smokey the Bear I think hes a jew, cause hes a bear. Bear jew.